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December 25 is coming at you faster than you can grab that third sugar cookie. The presents to wrap, the groceries to buy, the cards to send, the gift you . . . forgot!

Unless you have an assistant (er, elf) or are some kind of organizational guru (in which case, hi!!), Christmas presents a special kind of joyous panic for us all.

Here’s what you can expect from the next couple weeks:

December 13: Christmas is still ages away . . .

Noon on December 14: Wait, did that thing I ordered on Cyber Monday ever come?

11:30 p.m. on December 17: What am I doing for New Year’s? Eh, something fabulous, glamorous, and romantic will definitely come my way by then.

8 p.m. on December 19 as your sort-of friend hands you a gift: Awww, I COMPLETELY forgot your gift at home!

1 p.m. on December 20: Checks bank account . . .

6:55 p.m. on December 20: What do you mean the post office closes at 7 p.m.??

Noon on December 22: But, like, gift cards aren’t actually lazy gifts. Everyone loves money!

3 p.m. on December 22: I’m about to be OOO for three days, and nothing is done . . .

6 p.m. on December 23: Aunt Mary arrives and immediately asks if you’ve found a “special someone” yet.

3 p.m. on December 24 after vowing to never shop on Christmas Eve again: Why are there so many people at this mall right now??

10 p.m. on December 25: New Kindle in hand . . .