When it comes to where you should meet the love of your life, everyone has an opinion. We’ve all had friends insist you have to go to the bar / sign up for kickball / get on an app. The truth? They’re all correct—but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Everyone has that place where they shine bright—you know, that spot where you’re thriving in your element. We think you should go there. But how do you know which to choose? Try looking to your Myers-Briggs type.
Research by mother-daughter duo Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Briggs whittled down the billions of personalities into sixteen general ones by dividing the way people experience the world into four pairs of traits: directing and receiving energy (introversion vs. extraversion), taking in information (intuiting vs. sensing), making decisions (feeling vs. thinking), and approaching the outside world (judging vs. perceiving). Each of the sixteen personalities identifies by a four-letter acronym representing these qualities (such as ESTJ or INFP).
As a recovering MTBI addict, I was happy to speak with Kirsten Moorefield, co-founder of Cloverleaf.me, an online tool that helps businesses reach their goals by assessing team personalities. With our powers combined, we brainstormed likely places that play toward your strengths, so you’ll be better able to put yourself out there.
If it’s been a while, revisit your personality type, and then use this list for inspiration. Whether you are an INTJ or an INFP, there are plenty of places to meet men simply doing what you do best.
‘NT’ Personalities: Find places where you can meet other curious minds.
01. INTJ : Try trivia night or a Meetup
You’re a creature of utmost efficiency—and you typically do not waste your energy on things that don’t keep your cerebral abilities churning; which to you, is actually the very essence fun. We suggest scanning the internet for upcoming trivia nights or considering intellectual Meetups (from meetup.com) that will immerse you into philosophical or technological discussions with minds of similar curiosity.
02. INTP: Sign up for an adult education class
Since you INTPs find it particularly fascinating when you get into new activities or topics before they’re popular, we suggest signing up for a local adult education class where you can dig into anything from coding to sustainable agriculture. You can stay abreast on these fascinating topics, while meeting guys who share your interests in your element.
03. ENTJ: Try improv! Seriously.
ENTJs are on the prowl to find that special partner that will help them in their mission to take over the world. (Kidding—but only kind of.) You ENTJs thrive at reacting to anything that comes your way, and you usually feel in your zone when you’re feeling challenged, surrounded by interesting people. For you, we suggest signing-up to a class—be it improv or even learning a foreign language. It’s probably throwing you a curve ball: but that’s kinda the point. You’ll be thrown into something totally different, but something where you’ll be able to show your natural charisma and quick-thinking skills—and all with a bunch of intriguing folks who you can grab drinks with afterwards. It could definitely work out in your favor that there are too few women in comedy!
04. ENTP: Make time for a tech start-up happy hour
You genuinely enjoy banter and debating different viewpoints—and you’re actually quite good at it. Often in your element when you’re experiencing new, or juggling multiple activities at once, anything that piques your creativity and mental capabilities puts you into a good space. We suggest that you check out the local startup social scene in your area. Even if you’re not there for networking, you’ll be surrounded by lots of bold guys who’d enjoy the challenge of a natural devil’s advocate, who are in the midst of innovation. Plus, startup folks love a good party while talking tech (and the numbers are in your favor).
‘NF’ Personalities: Find places where you’ll be inspired and relaxed.
05. INFJ: Consider CrossFit
With constantly active minds that occasionally visit the “worst-case scenario” part of the brain, the INFJ can sometimes struggle to relax, especially when it comes to dating. Hence, we suggest planning the kinds of activities that gets your mind in a happy zen mode, while also putting you in a position to meet new people. Yoga’s great, but you’re not usually going to find a multitude of guys there, so consider checking out CrossFit, running club, or even finding a martial arts class, where you can exercise not only your body and mind—but also your post-class chatter skills.
06. INFP: Check out a gallery opening (and bring a wingwoman)
You shine best when you’re able to express yourself or when you are surrounded by people doing the same. Try gallery openings (they often have cocktails and mingling) or a film festival, and strike up conversation about the experience with men around you. Bring your bestie as a wing-woman, and let the conversation commence.
07. ENFJ: Plan the party of the year
As an ENFJ, you’re happiest when everyone around you is happy—especially when those happy things are going according to plan. You shine when you’re around your friends and are able to exercise a little bit of your organizational creativity. We recommend involving yourself in the community by orchestrating either a neighborhood, fundraising event, or the party of the year with your friends. Make your party themed around meeting new people and ask everyone to bring a friend you don’t know to up the chances of making a new match.
08. ENFP: Sign up for an intimate wine tasting
Your inspirational and warm energy is immediately felt, and you’re usually the one with the loudest laugh. However, often considered the most quiet and sensitive of the extroverts, you thrive best in places where you can truly get those special one-on-one, deep conversations, and you’re attracted to partners who will listen with an open mind. Grab a wing-woman, and head to your local winery for a quiet chat over wine and see if you can’t invite a few soulful stragglers to join your tasting!
‘SJ’ Personalities: Go to places where you can get stuff done.
09. ISTJ: Finally commit to a role in your church community
You do best when there’s a task at hand and you’re trying to accomplish it. You’re practical, so you’re one of the few where work-sparked romance could actually be a success. Since you enjoying solving technical problems—and focusing at the problem or project at hand, we suggest a specific kind of group volunteering, such as Habitat for Humanity or your church (maybe you can help them solve the problem of all the cute guys gunning it for the door right after services?). In this environment you can meet guys who will see you in your fun, problem-solving element.
10. ISFJ: Make a routine of being out in the world (I know, I know . . . your home is so cozy)
You’re caring, but also practical; and you can be a bit of a homebody. Meeting people at parties or bars feels a little overwhelming, so we suggest incorporating new places into your daily routine, where you feel a rhythm and get comfortable. That can be as simple as starting at a new gym, or as involved as volunteering at your local animal shelter, or finding a local coffee shop where you can go every morning (sorry, budget—it’s temporary).
11. ESTJ: Join Toastmasters
You don’t shy away from debate, and you’re rather enthusiastic about your opinion on taboo subjects. A Toastmasters class will help you hone your skills and maybe even meet a cute guy who also likes to spar—in a friendly, flirty way, of course.
12. ESFJ: Join a rec team
Friendly, sociable, and upbeat, you like being a part of a team, and usually, the more the merrier. We suggest joining a co-ed team of your choosing, where you can really get actively involved, while also being surrounded by people.
‘SP’ personalities: Join activities where you can explore and entertain.
13. ISTP: Try an REI class
ISTPs can be adrenaline junkies. You enjoy being in the moment, usually like the outdoors, and gravitate towards hands-on, intense activities like mountain biking or physically working with your hands. We suggest expanding on the hobbies you currently have, and making them more social by joining groups, clubs, or even classes in your area. REI has a schedule of classes like “navigating cross country with a map and compass” and other outdoorsy themed classes all year long.
14. ISFP: Start your own hobby club
Often dubbed “the artist,” you’re the happiest when you’re surrounded by unusual or beautiful things, making said things, or talking about said things. You’d have a better chance connecting with people at event where you can tangibly build upon those interests; for instance, if you’re into photography we suggest signing up to photography club—and asking around if anyone wants to go on a “photo adventure.”
15. ESTP: You will have more fun at a sports bar (there are more guys there anyway)
As a thrill-seeker, you love chasing excitement and embracing the moment with new experiences. At the same time, you’re logical and practical. If you haven’t already, check out the local sports bar scene, as guys flock there, and you can be in middle of all the testosterone action.
16. ESFP: Be sure to be intentional about more serious conversation
Let’s be real. Did you even need this list? With your infectious and charming personality, you naturally gravitate toward the center of attention and have a knack for drawing people out of their shell, pretty much anywhere. If you’re looking for a partner, though, it’s important that they accept not just this amazingly enthusiastic part of your identity, but your more serious side, too! We suggest that while you’re charming someone—either at a sport bar, a party, or even after performing karaoke—make sure you find ways to get to know them beyond the clever banter. Go take a walk outside with them for a second to chat where you can really decide if you’re worth each other’s time.
Image Credit: Elizabeth Wells