I don't know about you, but I love asking my married friends how their first week or so of married life is going. More often than not, it's obvious that they are on cloud nine, but they always have fun little "learning moments" to share too.
First, From Her: Justina
Honeymoons are fun but so is real life.
Our honeymoon was a week long, and while I anticipated that it would be a really special time, and it was, I was surprised at how eager we both were to come home to our new apartment and just live life together.
My problems are someone else’s problems, too.
Depression. Insomnia. Common cold. Even if I wanted to hide my ailments, I can’t. Living in close quarters, he hears every sneeze, sees every frown, and is constantly awoken by the light from my iPhone scrolling in the middle of the night. We are still figuring out how to be considerate of each other in our little apartment and we know that’s okay.
Stan felt similarly about his love of their newly cemented union. He said:
People treat me like I’m part of a unit.
While people still ask, “how are you?” more often than not, it’s “how are you guys doing?” or “what are y’all up to this weekend?” I love this natural shift, because we are a unit, and it reminds me that not only do I have a built in best friend, but I should probably check in with him before I make plans.
Sharing money is awesome.
Though we still need to merge bank accounts, Stan and I began sharing money right away. I love that when I buy groceries, I am buying them for someone else too.
The last name thing.
I’m not phased when people call me “Mrs. Murzyn.” Mrs. Murzyn is a new person, someone I’m just beginning to get to know, but it is so weird to be called “Justina Murzyn.” It reminds me that the old me is the new me, and I know this one will take a while to get used to.
He says it’s “clean”; I say, “Let’s define our terms.”
Stan is actually a very clean person, however, he doesn’t mind piles of mail on the counter like I do. He also never wipes down the stovetop after cooking. At the same time, all those piles of clothes in our closet…they are all mine, but at least they're out of sight to guests, right? So yeah we both like it clean, but defining what that actually means is going to take some time.
Flirting is still fun and necessary.
No, marriage does not kill romance. If anything, its supports it. Because Stan and I are constantly changing as individuals and as a couple, the game of love is never over. It’s still up to us to keep discovering the other and to fall more and more in love every day.
Stan gets it too. He said:
He needs alone time and so do I.
Stan and I learned really early on that we both need to be able to withdraw. It’s not even like we have to be separated, but sometimes, I need to read, and he needs to paint. I just need to watch a cheesy Hallmark movie that doesn’t make me think too hard and he needs to zone out to an action film. I need to do yoga, and he needs to go lift weights. You get the point.
Now, From Him: Stan
She needs affirmation.
No, getting married is not “the end” of our romantic story. I realized it wasn’t like just getting married made her know I was on her side or that saying “I Do” once on our wedding day would be enough confirmation of my fidelity for a lifetime. I need to affirm her every day.
I need affirmation, too.
Unlike the confident Stan of the public eye, I need affirmation too. Now that Justina is part of my life in this new way, I have to let her see that. I also have to actually let her affirm me. That’s when that humble attitude comes in.
We got weirder.
There’s nothing like getting to know someone more and more every day and realizing that she’s ok with my weird, and I’m ok with her weird. Maybe we should tone down the break-it-down dancing in Target while picking up housewares though.
Staying in is as fun as going out.
Living with each other for the first time makes every night in special, especially in the first ten days. While we love going out to eat, it’s so nice to have a home to cook in and know that we don’t have to say goodbye at the end of the night.
Justina can't get enough either! She said:
Having kids is a real possibility.
I always dreamed of having kids, but now I’m married, and all of a sudden the possibility of kids just became a reality. The possibility of starting a family together one day makes day dreaming together that much more exciting.
Wait, we actually are perfect for each other.
No, that’s not a this-is-so-easy-we’re-not-even-trying statement. This is a she-makes-me-the-man-I-always-wanted-to-be-and-I-make-her-the-woman-she-always-wanted-to-be statement. Put in Myers-Briggs speak, she’s an ENFP and I’m an INFJ. We only have had a short time to test our theory, but I have a hunch we’re just enough alike to get along and just different enough to keep each other on our toes.
Speaking of keeping one another on their toes, Justina said:
People love honeymooners.
From airlines to restaurants, people love honeymooners! We didn’t expect to be showered with such goodwill everywhere we went. The world embraces love and marriage is such a clear representation of it. What different in this case, we were the center of attention! The Honeymooners! It’s humbling, and we’ll have to remember to pay it forward. Even the smallest gesture made us feel so special.
I’ll always be the one making coffee in the morning.
Every. Day. It started on the honeymoon, and it just kept going. I just get up earlier!
Photo Credit: Gregorio Photography