Ever felt like you were giving a man all of the signs, and somehow he still seemed completely oblivious? Well, as a guy I can tell you that It’s probably because he was completely oblivious. When a guy can’t seem to get a clue, sure, it might just be that homeboy’s having an off night. It might also mean he’s looking for other signs.
I imagine it's frustrating wondering why he isn't getting your signals. To help shed some light on this dilemma, I asked fellow dudes to chime in on how they know a woman is interested. So here are the three biggest ways men know that you're into it.
It’s the way she moves.
“You will know she likes you simply by her body language,” my buddy Vince says. I know when I used to work in a restaurant, I would enjoy spying on the couples that were very obviously on a first date. It was especially revealing when they were sitting together at the bar: How far away would she sit from him? Would she remain facing the bar or would she open up more toward him? How animated would she be in her conversation? Would she touch his arm? Or *gasp* his leg? You don’t have to be an expert in attraction (which I am not) to know that physical touch is a pretty strong indicator of interest.
Gil says he knows a woman is interested when “she smiles back at me; she winks at me and when she starts playing with her hair, but, you know, in a way different than usual,” he clarifies. Frankly, I was surprised Gil is brave enough to use this as a sign.
And that’s another thing to note about men: we may know there’s something different about a way she’s acting, even if we can’t explain it. For example, Zach, notices what he calls the “Glistening eye,” which I have always wondered about. Is there something actually twinkling in her eye? Is she producing extra saline? When prodded, Zach admitted, “I don't know if it's real. But I know it when I see it.”
Speaking of eyes, sustained eye contact is impressive, no doubt. But, according to Charles, “Things like [when] eye contact is made and then avoided and then made again,” is even more indicative of attraction.
Does she linger?
Admittedly, for many guys, positive body language isn’t enough to positively confirm interest from a woman. In Victor’s experience, if a woman makes an obvious effort to keep the conversation going, that’s always a good sign.
“Lingering is obviously huge,” Frederick explains. Any extension of the interaction beyond normal polite conversation says to him that there might be more going on. Brad agrees that if she lingers in conversation and asks questions, that’s a positive sign. “If a girl wants to spend time with me one-on-one in any way, I assume she is interested,” Brad says, “and that assumption hasn't really gotten me in trouble.”
What does this “lingering” look like, exactly? Well, Gil has had a couple of women show their interest by continuing the conversation just about as long as possible. “Out swing dancing, I made an indication that I was ready to leave,” he said. “I went to go get a glass of water, and I noticed from a distance that she made her way to the exit, but was hanging out by herself at the coat rack. I had to go get my coat on the way out, and it was pretty obvious she wanted me to ask her out.”
“Another example, “Gil offers: “This girl I knew followed me out to my car after the event, keeping up conversation the whole time, but in this inviting sort of way,” he said. “I appreciated the obvious hint.”
When she makes me blush.
And when all that fails, we typically need a little verbal encouragement. Of course, compliments are always welcome, and depending on what exactly they’re complimenting they can be more obviously romantic in nature. As Gil says, “even things like ‘Aww, that's so sweet of you!’ or when she hints that she has no boyfriend can be indicators of interest. “ Who doesn’t like flattery, and the more intentional, the better.
A man’s favorite affirmation? Laughter—but with us, not at us. Guys love it when women laugh at our jokes. And we typically prefer that they authentically think we’re funny.
There are plenty of men that are just simply not going to pick up on the subtleties of romance, and hell, many of them won’t even pick up on the not-so-subtleties. But remember that there are a lot of men who are more than happy to have it spelled out for them. According to Gil “A woman sent me a text like ‘Sorry if this is too forward, but it was really nice spending time with you.’” His response? “Wow. She’s awesome.”
Photo Credit: Jordan Voth