Let me first say that women have an incredible aptitude for peering into our own psyche and getting to the heart of the matter, all the while disentangling and connecting all the related loose ends along the way. Yes, the female mind may seem like a complicated, confusing, and generally disorderly place to some—but that’s just because they are not women. It all makes sense to us.
That being said, things can get a little more hairy when we try to navigate the inner workings of the male mind. Many women spend countless hours agonizing about what men are thinking and why they do the things they do. Take it from someone whose job requires her to think about relationships, and not just her own, pretty much 24/7: Sometimes you have got to just shut. It. Off.
I know, I know you are probably thinking, Maybe I would be able to shut it off if men weren’t so incredibly confusing! I mean seriously, why did he ask me out on a date and then never call?? How does that make sense?? I bet he has commitment issues… or maybe it was something I said??
And that is exactly my point. Men are incredibly confusing because their brains are wired a little differently than ours, and this means they are going to be a lot more difficult to figure out—if not damn near impossible.
The feminine investigation into the male mind has a long and time-honored history that has brought forth a lot of good in the world. In fact, it’s probably done a lot to contribute to the propagation of the human race. But there comes a point in every post-date rehash or pre-breakup analysis that a woman must throw up her hands and say, “I just don’t know.”
There is no shame in this kind of admission; actually, a lot of good can come from resigning yourself to blissful ignorance. Here are five reasons to stop overanalyzing and just let it go.
01. Keeps you humble.
Nobody likes a know-it-all and, let’s face it, women can tend to think they know everything about what makes men tick. Throwing your hands in the air—even at the most exasperating moments—can foster a sense of respect for the mystery of the male mind. And that is something that's sure to make your man feel good (everyone likes to feel a little mysterious, even guys).
02. Keeps you constructive.
Women have a wonderful sense of empathy, and it’s well placed when trying to understand the motives of the men in our lives. But it may be that after a certain amount of conjecture, we begin to go in circles. Unless we point-blank ask the guy, we will probably never know why he didn’t call or why he ended things. So the only thing left for us to do is decide how to move forward from here.
03. Keeps you sane.
Sometimes, when we have a particularly baffling guy problem on our hands, we wisely go to our friends for council. Trouble is, a conclusion is rarely made and too often we find ourselves fixated on this problem for days straight, maybe even mumbling under our breath to and from work with a glassy face expression. Snap out of it! You can will yourself to set it aside, at least for now, so you can think about something else, like what to do next. (Are you going to meet someone new? Tell him how you feel? Forgive and forget?)
It’s also important to keep in mind that you are not a psychologist (unless you are) and some things are left up to professionals. Depending on how serious of a problem you are dealing with, you may want to consider talking things through with a licensed professional. When left on our own to work heavy things out, we can fall into unhealthy thought patterns or warped impressions. A therapist is trained to help you sort things out and process while staying in a healthy frame of mind.
04. Keeps your friends sane.
It's true that your friends are happy to hear you vent about your ex, your boyfriend, or your crush whenever you need to, but there comes a time when you need to be considerate of your friend's loving patience and spare her the reruns. Tell your friend that you are struggling to let it go and that you could use her help in redirecting the conversation toward something more constructive. No friend wants to watch you spinning your wheels, and she will be happy to help!
05. Keeps you strong.
Mental fortitude is not easy; it requires practice and constant vigilance. Every time you slip into that oh-so-tempting rabbit hole of "Why?? Oh, Why?!?", stop. And with a slow exhale choose to think about something else. Know the difference between productive quandary and over-analysis (hint: you will usually find your train of thought going in circles) and make a conscious choice not to perseverate on the things you can't change.