Skip to main content

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...


Remember those days of yore, sitting on the ground in the play yard, plucking daisy petals off one by one to see if your crush liked you back? Or maybe it was in the second grade classroom when you handed off a little slip of paper, “Do you like me? Check yes or no.”

Those innocent activities spoke to a real desire – to know whether our feminine affection was spurned or returned.

Fast forward a few years and I've found that desire is in fact timeless – we women still want to know. Imagine my response when I stumbled upon the Good Women Project's recent article “Ask a Married Woman: Should You Let a Guy Know You're Into Him?” A quick search of their current popular articles revealed an average of 20 comments per post, yet this article had rocketed up to 97 comments and was still going strong.

What started the comment flurry? All the women advised that the woman let the man know she was into him first.

Our great-grandmothers just rolled over in their graves.

Ready for a conversation, I hopped onto Twitter to seek second--and third--opinions. Mara Kofoed of A Blog About Love advocated that women should be unabashed in their appreciation for said gent, marking it as a sign of maturity and strength. It's about practicing the art of "loving for the sake of loving," without assurance of return.

Lauren Dubinsky, founder of the Good Women Project, shared that while she personally has never asked men out on dates, letting a guy know you're interested in him can be what he's waiting for before he asks you out.

Can we translate that into giving the gent the green light and then stepping aside?

Hallie Lord of the fun blog Betty Beguiles agreed but qualified, “Help a brother out... but only a little.” Joanna Hyatt, formerly of RealityCheckLA, continued “We need to see a guy risk to ask us out to see if we're worth it to him.”

Clearly this conversation will not be ending any time soon! We would like to become the strongest and most loving women we can be, while still allowing our male counterparts the opportunity to be courageous.

So the question of the day:  to tell, or not to tell. What is that perfect balance between locking ourselves behind walls and handing him our hearts on a silver platter?

(Image via A Man and His Cam)