Relationships
05/16/12

Wait… is this a date?

What has dating become in the modern era? For many, looking around the landscape of romance can seem ambiguous and confusing. For example, a guy friend asks to get together to grab a bite, just the two of you. It’s obviously casual. Is it a date? What if you treat it as a date and all of a sudden, awkwardness sets in? Uh oh. Someone obviously got the wrong idea.

Yikes.

Last week’s comments - thanks, ladies! – got me thinking about the topic of commitment, which got me reflecting on the topic of dating. Not that dating has to be a huge commitment, but maybe it’s a series of little commitments.

In chatting with many of my male counterparts about this, a great debate has arisen – whether or not the one doing the asking should specifically call the date “a date.” Some of the men have said “yes”, to spare the poor recipient questions and many unnecessary mind-games. Others have said “no” – why spoil a good thing too soon by choking out the word “date”? The messiness and mysteriousness of life are alluring and isn’t that what makes it fun?

It has also been suggested that this reflects on a man’s character. Some would speculate that a man who cannot specify his intentions in such a small matter as a date, might not possess noble intentions at all. Or, if he cannot commit to a small date, maybe he cannot commit to anything further. Or are we over-analyzing and should just enjoy the process?

So, I turn it back over to you, dear readers. Would you prefer to know ahead of time whether the evening at the movies is a date, or leave it to chance?

(image via kevin dooley)

Ashley Crouch - - Ashley is the Verily Relationships Editor. Ashley has immersed herself in the world of relationships through her position at the Love and Fidelity Network, coordinating discussion forums, and writing articles for numerous online journals and blogs. She delights in heart-to-heart conversations with women about friendship and romance, while thriving through the twists of her own relationships. Find her in Central Park, latte and good book in hand, polishing up her rusty French vocabulary, or hitting the beach learning to surf.

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