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Relationships
09/24/13

Gentleman Speak: Childbirth Made Me Love My Wife’s Body More

Bodyand soul_andrea-rose
Women may worry about how pregnancy and childbirth will affect their bodies and their husband’s view of their bodies. In my experience, it can help a man love his wife’s whole person – body and soul.

It’s natural for women to want unconditional love—you know, that patient, kind, not-selfish love you hear about at weddings. We know our bodies will age and become less beautiful in time; I’ve vowed to love my wife just the same. But I don’t mean I’ll love her soul despite her body—I mean I unconditionally love them both as essential parts of her.

I didn’t always see it this clearly. Something happened. I witnessed the miracle of child-bearing.

My wife’s first pregnancy was unbelievable for me. Literally. She showed me three positive pregnancy tests, but I didn’t believe there was actually a human being inside her. Who walks around with other humans INSIDE them? That’s crazy talk.

I started believing it after the first ultrasound. Even though our daughter was the size of a bean, we could see her heart beating. Katie’s body had created, inside itself, a human being with a heart. Eventually I could feel Lucy kick inside Katie’s stomach, and roll over. I couldn’t get enough of it.

Then I witnessed, up close, labor and delivery. I’ll spare you the details, but when I saw Katie push out Lucy – that is, bring another person into the world – I couldn’t help but hold Katie’s body in awe. As she nursed our baby that night, my love grew even more.

It was now obvious that my wife’s body was not merely a beautiful flesh container for the soul that I loved. The body was something amazing in itself – something that deserved my unconditional love.

It’s also relevant that the events that set this miraculous process in motion involved, to put it politely, more than just our souls loving one another.

Far from turning me off from her body, witnessing childbirth put it all in perspective—what real unconditional love means, for both body and soul.

Timothy P. Carney - Timothy P. Carney is a senior political columnist at the Washington Examiner and a visiting fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. Timothy lives in Maryland with his wife of 7 years, and their 4 children. Follow on twitter @TPCarney

Comments

  1. Beautifully put!
    I don’t know if this is a common perspective among guys, but it’s lovely for a gal to hear :)

  2. i asked a friend, who recently became a father, about his thoughts of his wife when she went into labor, and he echoed these sentiments, how he was in complete wonder and awe at his wife’s strength and resilience, to bear and (painfully) bring a child into the world.

    a well written, insightful and encouraging read. thanks for sharing this.

  3. I loved this. So short and so sweet. Thank you! I pray that every woman’s husband/partner/boyfriend appreciates her body with the devotion you expressed. Domestic violence is so prevalent in our world.

  4. Bobbie Hardy says:

    When I was married to my first husband, it wasn’t until after my first child was born, that I realized we would not be together very long. He was repulsed watching her be born. My second husband has guided and coached me through three births, one unassisted at home! He expressed the same thing you did. Each and every time I have a child, I swear we go through another honeymoon period. It’s crazy different from the first. And very sweet.

  5. Gaby says:

    I’m not married nor in a relationship yet, but this piece gives me hope that there are still gentlemen left out there.